


Diary Of A Witchy Kid

by Tiktokween



Category: Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series - Jeff Kinney
Genre: F/M, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23380363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiktokween/pseuds/Tiktokween
Summary: A story about love, hate and betrayal, and the risks everyone would take just to be with the most powerful and beautiful witch in town, Shadow  Alwina Angelica Lilith Black, who just wants to win the heart of Greg Heffley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Hello there! My name is Shadow Alwina Angelica Lilith Black, but my friends call me Shadow or Witch. I just saterfed high school and it’s the worsttt!!! I hate my school. All of the jocks keep falling in love wif me, but I have standarda and I would never go out with a dikish jovk!!! I have eyes for only one man, and his name is Greg Heffley.  
But first, here’s a litle bit about me. I’m a depressed witch girl. My dad who was my best frind died when I was eiht, so now my peice if shit mom takes care of me. She’s really pretty (which is why I’m also really pretty) so she’s always dating some rando douche. I hate my mom’s boyfriends!! I’m not like most girls, I dont spend hours on doing my makeup, I don’t even wear makeup, but my friend Heather told me I don’t even need it becuz I’ve got natural beauty. I’m not a slut, and I hate parties. Id rather just sit at home and cuddle up with my demon cat, Bloody, and read a book. I know I must sound really cute and innocent, but I can kill someone easily if they annoy me, so back off h8ers!! I’m really powerful and damgerus, im actually the most powerful witch in my town!!   
So anyways, I started my day lik any ofher. I woke up in my dark purple room in my comfy bed. It flet like a cloud, but my stupid alarm clok wouldn’t stop ringing so of couras I had to get up. I took off my oversized t-shirt that said I SURVIVED THE CRANUM SHAKER on it and changed into a baggy pickle Rick sweater (AN: I loveeee Rick and Morty )) and put on some ripped jeans. I was feeling ugly so I put on some eyeliner and purple lipstik ton make myself look better, but I still gelt ugly.   
“Well, at least Greg thinks I look pretty” I sighed. It’s true, he’s told me many times that I’m very pretty, and it always makes my hart sooo happy ^^  
I went downstairs and ate some Cheerios. My mom was on the couch making out with her new boyfriend, so she didn’t see me. I watched them as I at cuz it was kinda hot. My mom kinda looks like me but she’s like old and has wrinkles and shit. I imagined myself in her place makinh out with Greg, but then I realised I was getting late so I legt without saying goodbye to mu mom because she had started to take off her clothes. Ugh, my life suxxx


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jope u like my storyyyy!!!! 💕💕💕💕🖕🖕🤪🤪🙄🖕👌👌

I finaly reech school and all the guiys are after me . Brice looks at me sexily and gave me a rose and aksed me to marry him butt I’m not like the normal girls who go crazy for him I have standarrds . Then fregley proffesored his love too me and said he would make me the qween of his planet . He’s hot but not as hot as the dalring of westmore Greg so I use my witch magic to magicaly flout my slef away . I’m just cool like that . Then Greg taps my shoulder wiht his godly fingers and we stare at each otheer and like angles are around us until that fuck wadd rowley comes . He’s such a bitch and always comes Between love butt I can tel he wants whit I want and it’s war . Luckily I’m way sexier and hotter and smarter but I’m not hear too brag I’m hear to win . Uhgg all the popular grills are wearing there dresses and starring at there phones but I’m just different with my signed copy of fifty shades that I carry with me to exceed people’s expectatitions . That day I skip class beacause it’s never challenging and my immortal witch Brian knows eveythibg . I hold a ritual under the bleechers to summon my dad Satan but I cannt cause mrs Craig and ms Norton’s hardcore sex is ruining it . Ugh so I just cast an invisible spelll and go meet chirag . He’s the only one who gets me and my witch lyfestyle . I sea him wearing his anime girl outfit a pink prinsess dress with a magic anime stone and his hair is long and blond now . I havent scene him for moths as he was busy running his inerdimensionaf harem in space 43 but now that he is bacc we can finaly cast the mega spell that will awaken sweaty the lord of the solar system and give us more Magik powers . “Hi chirag !!!!!!” I say in my own voice   
He does not respond as he takes a vow of silence last yaer for the deth of his lover the interdemensional prinse BUT I no he’s happy to see me As I can read minds too we exchange stries and he shows me pics of his time in space . Life can get so weird and ceazy with everyone after me I’m glad I feel normal rn . It’s amlost tyme for linch and I I now my lover is waiting so run off


	3. Cahpter 3

Chiraj and I sit together during lanch, which annoys a lot of the other guys who want to sit next to me and make out with me. Some dickhead jovk even comes and pushes Chiraj away to sit with me. I use mi powerful brian to break all of the bones in his arms. He cries and rins away, and I put my middle finger up at him. Chiraj laughes and takes ot a very colourful fruit that kinda looks like a glalaxy.   
“What’s that?” I inqure  
“It’s an intergelactic fruit m called the vize. It tastes likee candy and enohances my magic. I stole it from a space trol. That’s how I got thos scar” He sighed and pointed at ghe giant scar on his eye.  
“Can I have some?” I begged  
“No” he roared  
“Why not? I want to esmhance my abilities too!” I demanded  
“Because I’m jelous of you, Shadow. Your wery powerful already, and I juist want to be like you” he wimpered   
I loook at him. I didn’t kno he was jelous.  
“It’s okau, I don’t want it anymore anyway. You dont have to be jelous, Chiraj, your also very powerful” I admit  
“Not as powerful as you, Shadow.” He cries  
I tried to cheer him up by showing hum a video of a finny cat, which he seems to enjoy. Soon, we start lughing over the cat and ferget we even had that weird convo, which was totes awkward.  
“Hi, Shadow” I hear a voice say. It was Greg!  
I freeze up. I look at him and bite my lip all sexyiky. He’s wearing his typical a black t-shirt and dress pants which matches hiiis black hair and thick manly eyebrows. But toda there was something different about his outfit. He was wearing blood red shoes that matched his blod red eyes (AN: In my story Greg’s a vampir). I felt my face go hot. I had given him those shos on his birthday. I forced myself to look into his droopy sad red eyes.  
“H-hey, Hreg. W-w-what’s ip?” I stutter.  
Chiraj looks at me all dissapointed because he’s actually my love coach cuz he’s gay so he helps me out with this stuff, but I always forget our traning when Greg talks to mw. I can practicaly hear him roll his eyes, but Greg just smiles. Its a sad smile, but syill hot.   
“Nothing much. Just drinking some of Rowley’s blod” he exclaimed  
Behind him, Rowley waves at me. I don’t wave bac. I hate him, he’s such a buzkill.   
“Hey Shadow” he says in his annoying voice  
“Rowely.” I say nonchlantky  
Greg puts his arm arond Rowley and I feel sick and jelous. I clench ma fists so that I don’t lose conrol of my powers and kill accidentally Rowley. I may hate him, bute I know how much he means to Greg, so I don’t do anything, but I could kill him easilly if I wanted to.   
“So anyways, Shadow. I was wondering if you anted to come woth me to Brain’s party this Saturday?” Greg asked shyly (AN: ughhh soft boys are sooooo cute!!!)   
I gasp. Chiraj gives me a thumbs up. I read his mind and he tells me to go for it, and to seem avalable but not too abalable   
“Uh, yeah, sure, I’m not doing anything this Saturday anyways so I can go I guess.” I say seductively.   
“Awesome!” Greg laughs. I see his pointy fangs and lick my lips. “I’ll see you there then. Bye”  
“Bye Greg.” I say sadly. I don’t want him to go, but he leaves anyway.   
I sit back down next to Chiraj who is smilling.   
“This is perfet! The magic stone we meed for the ritual is near brian’s hous so I can go get it while you and Greg do the chimichanga” he teases. I point my middle finger at him.   
Then lunch ends and we have to go back to class.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omggg I got a fukingg hate comment last tie on amino so if tgat h8er is reading this fuck u 🖕🖕  
> Also don’t h8 or I will kill u 🔪🔪

Ighhhh I h8 clasd I’m two gud for it anywayz hahaha. Pluss the tee hers dnt show up cause their all too busy doing the ten legged inter species cha-cha . Sooo like heah deginaltely . I’m bak home and my stupod mom is still withthat guy or may bee it’s a diff guy idk . I start choozing my cloths forr the party and I finaly decide on a fitted black lether dress and blood red boats and another lether jacket and some glasses cause sometimes I need them but not rlly . I like totally wannna stay up and watch my quirky tv shows butt that bitch holy keeps leagving me tekst and I call herr   
“ OMG I can’t believe you callllefd me bavlk you’re soooooooamazing and pretty how can I be Luke u ??!!??!!?!❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕 ( yes she can tlks in emojii she’s magic like that )   
“ hahaha totally nt I’m sooooo awkward “ I say in my basic b voice , she’s foiled . Ughhhh ih8 her more then rowley cause lyke Greg does not even like her why is she hear ????!   
“ hahhaha ur soo quirky shadow I was thonking weather u new weather Greg was going too te party with any1 ?????!!!❤️💕❤️💕❤️”  
Ughhhhhhhh she’s such a bitvh I wanna kill her with my magic powers but the hods tolf me not to abise my abililoties so I cnt. Fuckkkk butt I habe to bee the larger person hear .   
“ omg holy u no I am popular enouf to no these things , butt I herd he’s going with a totally hot babe “   
“Hahaha hahaha how r u so funy!! Thx for your help any way “  
She closes the phone and I spend the whole night sexily dreemknh about sexy thinks with my beloved and kill holy . I wake up to my windoes openning and sea fregley.   
“Ighhhhh it’s lyke thrusday shadow have you forget our casual sex affair ??”  
He’s write I have forget but my brian is so occupyed I can’t not think of those things write know   
“ I have forget fregley but my Brian is so occupyed I can not think of those thinks write know “  
“ ywah that’s whu u need a casual sex affair “  
He’s write I do love casual sex affairs   
“ I hav an idear the sun is almost awaken we shud make love on the roof showerinhg in it glory !”  
“  
God shadow were do U get thdese idea they’re lyke so hitt “  
We do it on the roof lyke alot of tynes it’s ceazy but it’s also tyme for sckool ahain so yea .


	5. Chapoter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> omg I got so many pysco autistic h8ers last tiem on smino and FanFiction.Net l0l h8ers r sooo stupid if they think I cate!!! Fuvk off h8ers. If u love my story though pls stay and have a vitual coockie 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪. Also Shadow is n0t a mARy sue ok she’s a depresed angry witch she’s not prefect!!!

Noting intereding happened at scool that day, a bunch of guys asled me to go to brain’s party witg them but I just put up my middle finger at them. I also accidentally killed one SUPER anoying guy but he deserved it and no one even noticed that it was me becuz im so good at this stuff. Chiraj and I go back to my house after school to practise for the party tonite. We go inside and mu mom crying on the kichen conter.  
“What’s weong mrs.Black” Chirah asks all sensitively. I rolked my eyes.  
“My new boufirend is cheating on me!!” She wailds. I roll my ehes even harder. Ghis happens all the time and yet she still gets surpriced wvery time.   
“Why ade you even surprised mom this hapPEnds all the time anyways I told you it would happen again!!” I road   
“And you were right Shadow I’m sooo sorry I should have listend to you but he was just so hot I thought he wouldn’t be lik the others!!” She cries  
“Yeah well you tought weong mom you should have listened to me becuz im always right when it comes to this!!!” I snapped  
“Shadow oh shadow!” She cries and hugs me tight and ceies into my shoulder. “Ew mom get off!” I belowed (AN: See shadow isn’t perfect shes mean to her mom so st0op calling her a Mary Sue!!!)  
I push her away grab chirajs hand and drag him upstairs into my room. “Ugh she’s sooo anouing I geunt   
“She’s just sad Shadow you know who’s actually annoying?” He said all disgusted. “Who?” I asks  
“Holly Hills!” He replies and he shows me my phone. Holly has texted me 1000 times while we wear at scool!! I gasped  
“Oh my Satan what does she wang now?” I moan  
I check my phone and most of the messages are jusv a bunch of heaart emojis becuz that’s all she ever sends. There’s only a few messages like asking me what I’m gon to wear tonite, if Chrarij’S going to cone, that she knows I’ll look really pretty cuz I always fo, ya know, stuff like that. But teh most recent mesage is: Babe r u going to party with some1 💞💕💖❤️💜💕💞💖💘💘💝💝💗💗  
I replied: r u??  
She replied imediattly becuz she has nothing betterr to do: I was gonna ask some1 rn actually!! 💝💖💖👀👀💕💖💖💝💝💕👀❣️❣️❤️❤️💘💜💘💜💜💕💝😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰  
I replied: Who??   
Bucuz I was worried she was gonna ask Greg cuz I know she likes him too. That’s why I hate her and Rowely, they keep trying to steal my man!!!!  
She replied: it’s not important gurl tell me r u going with soem1????💖💘💕💕😍😍💕🥰🥰🥰💗💗💘💕💘💜😍🥰🥰  
Chirag tells me to tell her tgat I’m going with Greg so she knows to back iff   
I eeply: I’m going with the hotest guy in schol, Greg Heffley  
She replies: oh, okay. I didn’t think u weee going with anyone  
Chirah laughs “ we’ve defeted her Shadow, she didn’t even send any emojis she must be sooooo jelous!!!!” I give him an intergallactick high five. Taht annoying bitvh is finally in her place!!!  
Suddenly this fake ass ugly racist gay bitch named McKenzie shows up at my window. “Shadow I love u will u go to the party and have sex with me”  
Ugh go away brice ur ugky” I yell   
“Pleasseee Shadow! We can watch Marvel movis and masterbait to tony stark!!”  
“Ew no go away u autistic bitch” I below  
“You shouldn't call people autistic. As a person with Aspergers, it's honestly a stupid insult, since a good amount of talented autists are savants.” She said stupidly with deool coming out of her mouth. (AN: this is what one of my h8ers said to me, so I put her in this story!!)   
“Ugh shut up McKenzie and just fuvk off” Chirah yells at her  
“Nooo I don’t wanna go I’m just soooo obsessed with u Shadow!!!!”   
I’m so fed up with her that I use my galasy brain to crush all of her bones up and kill her instantly. Then I throw her dead body into a trash can (AN: get it cuz she’s like trash) I tried to crush her brain too but she didn’t have one so I couldn’t   
“That was awesome Shadow!! Ur being sooo awesome today!!!!!!” Chiraj admires me. We do the intargalctik high five again and then start practicing for tonite


	6. Chaptter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope u like my story 🥰🤪🤪🥰😘💕💕🖕🖕🤪🖕🖕🤪🖕💕🖕

(AN: omg h8ers r lik soooo annnoying amirite?? I got a couplle more last time witch really makes like 0 sense cuz like I think my stary is grate?? Also sahdoww is NOT a mary Sue ok she likes being mean to ppl and she has depression! Shes just rlly hot and that’s why everyone is in luv with er, and she hats it!!! Now stop hating u losers 🖕🔪🔪🔪🔥🔥😈😈😈🔥🖕🔪🔪🖕🖕🖕🔥🔪🖕🔪🔪🖕😈 and if u like my story pls confinue reading and hav fun I luv u guys sooo much 💕💕💖💖💗💗🖕💘💝💕🖕🖕💕🖕)

Its finalle disco time ! I chek my phone and it’s the sexiest hour off the day 7:30 . Chiraj left to work on his own stuf n I put on my bday suite ;) hahahaha jk the wold isnt redy for that yet ?! I was in a black fit an flare mini dress witch had tiny bat wings and was made of ded drogons 🐉🐉 and had a layce top and choker . My shoes was metals made frm robots I killed when they try to make robosexual wedding happen .   
I was rredy.   
It was time.   
He was hear .   
Greg was in the same hot clothes he wear all-ways bcoz every1 noes vampyres cnt wear differeent cloths but he was soooooooo hot noone noticed (AN:b4 u start to h8 on me this is my uniwerse and in my unverse vampires r like this!!). “Hey beautiful “ he sayd in his voice   
I didn’t replty cause it looked couler butt I cud see even my mom wantef a peice off dat but she wanted a peice if eveyone so thasssok. We fleww like the supiorior beings we wërè and got there fashionabely actualy on time. The perty was moderatly size but I made it better and Greg made me better until tht child fucking ass clown rowlee show up .   
“Hey therem big fudge 💕💕” hé say to greg tryingh to flaint his man boobs in his joshie shirt , “ the ema kidz club is have ing there meetung we hayve to go “   
I sigh I nevar joined the clubs cuz there all too boring for me butt now i wish i had just dine that instead . Greg loks at me sadly   
" in sorry but my freinds need me it wont be long I promise "  
i shrog and he leaves . fort the next hour i walk around and talk to ppl . Chiraj is busy having an orgy ipstairs , fregley is walking aorund nude trying to do somethingg clalled the naked man ??? brice is putting water on his abs. Oh no holly is rushing to me oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit what does shwwant now ? (AN: this is a diary btw some of u autistic hoe h8ers didn’t get that last tome)  
" Hi shadow !!💕❤️😂❤️💕❤️💕❤️❤️💕👌🥳😍😂👌😂💕👌🥳😍🥰🥰✌️😭😭😭✌️😍🥳💕👌❤️💋💋💋" she say in her mernaid dress .   
“Ughh hi holly, what’s up??”  
" ive been thinkjng about us alot man and i theres something i really wanna say ti du but beofre id just liek to say tuat when im with you im the happiest i acn eve r be you amke me feel like im linvjngv the good life . everytihhbg abot you makes me feel tlile no amtter hwo shitty life gets sometimes it all wolk itself out one dag becuz ive got you by me .”   
“Holly what the fu-“ I start to yelle but then Holly jumps up on the table and roars so loud that the entire party can hear it  
“shadow alwina angelica lilith black would amke me the happiest woman alive and marry me !”   
Everyone gassped .   
“Ofcourseifyoudontillkillevryoneyouandthenmyselfbutthatsanotherstoryhahahaha👉🏼🤚🏼💍💎🎊🥂😘👩❤️💋👩👩🏻🤝👩🏼🧗🏻♀️🏄🏼⛱🏞🏔🏡👩👩👦👵🏻👵🏻" She added pillihng out an assualt rifle  
I gasped


End file.
